Lockdown continues

It's day ?? of lockdown,  I don't know, all days are pretty much the same. I believe it is nearly April, and I believe summertime has officially started. It started with snow. Unusually, there was not much snow over the winter. It is also unusual to have it this late. There wasn't much,  but it was still strange. We had more snow today.

I have a sinus infection.  It was only a matter of time, considering the problems in this flat. I had a doctor consultation by sms. Strange times call for strange measures! First contact by me via email, then 5he doctor tried to call back, but loss of voice was one of my symptoms. So sms it was. I've just finished a course of antibiotics but my sinus pain is today almost enough to make me cry. Even the codeine painkillers aren't helping much, but I think I'm too numb inside to cry.

This period has reminded me of how unhappy I am with my life. Something I've been trying to avoid thinking about since the summer. Strangely though, I'm not suffering from the loneliness,  isolation,  insecurity,  and instability as much as many other people.  Don't get me wrong,  I most definitely feel it, but I think I have become so used to it over time that I can't be bothered panicking. I'm insecure about my job, about my accommodation situation, unsere about where the hell my life is going, am lonely as fuck sometimes, but these feelings are nothing new to me. I hate them, but it's just the same old shit as before the lockdown. The only thing that really worries me is who will look after my dog if I get the virus?

Other than that, I have been sleeping a lot. Probably because of the sinus infection and the myriad of pills I've had over the past week.  I'm surprised I don't rattle when I walk. I must be pharmacy personified. So not a lot of news from me. One thing I had to do though was report my flatmate to the landlord. She decided to spend quarantine at her boyfriend's place but she was coming over here every day and having visitors. This is not allowed under the quarantine rules, and puts people in danger of infection. I felt guilty at first, but that has passed. I just hope she doesn't make things too miserable when she comes back.

The state of emergency was originally due to end on the 24th March but it got extended to April 1st, now to April 11th, and there is a possibility that it could be extended to the middle of May. Hey-ho. It's a shit situation but if it helps at all, then so be it. We may be out for my birthday,  we may not. A friend has a birthday soon, which will be spent under lockdown.  Perhaps we can have a joint late birthday thing once this is over.

I feel I need something positive to care about, something positive to look forward to. I just don't know what.  I remember being on a long train journey when I was a kid, and going through a tunnel that never seemed to end. That's what this feels like. To be honest, that's what life has felt like since the summer. I hope my next blog won't be so damn gloomy. To make up for this, here are some photos of the spring blossoms before the snow, the garden in the snow, and a photo of my dog because he is adorable.